Your wedding party does more than fill empty space in your wedding pictures; they provide you with the support (and often times, the manual labor) that you need to make your big day a success. Oftentimes, they take on jobs like addressing wedding invitations, running errands, and taking care of craft projects in preparation for the wedding day. During the wedding, they’ll stand alongside you and your partner when you’re exchanging vows, and after the wedding, they may form your support system as you adapt to married life.
Obviously, choosing your wedding party is something that takes a lot of thought and reflection. Here are some things to keep in mind before you start asking friends and family to fill the roles.
Be Sure Before You Ask
Once you put the invitation out there, you can’t un-ask someone to be in your wedding party. Even if you and your childhood friend have a pact that you’ll be in each other’s wedding party, make sure that you take the time to consider who you really want to stand with you. Think about whether you’ll still be close to that person in a decade, or if you’re likely to go your separate ways before then.
Consider Your Expectations
What do you want from your wedding party? Do you want them to take an active role in planning and preparing for your wedding? Or is it enough for them to simply buy the proper attire and show up at the ceremony? If you want your best friend to be your maid of honor or best man but they live on the other side of the country, they’re probably not going to be able to meet with the caterer on your behalf or help you create wedding favors.
Ask Your Siblings
Mom’s right on this one; no matter how close you are with your friends, time may wear away the relationship. Thirty years from now, your time with them may be a distant memory. However, no matter which family members move to which region of the country or pursue different interests and goals, they’ll likely still be the group of people that you still have a genuine connection with. Unless you and your siblings genuinely can’t stand one another, consider asking them to be in your wedding party.
Don’t Worry About Balance
Unless you and your beloved both have exactly five important people in your life that you want to have as attendants, you might have a hard time keeping the number of bridesmaids and groomsmen even. Sure, you will probably aim for relative balance; after all, three on one side of the altar and 12 on the other side will look awkward no matter what you do. However, the important thing is that you and your partner both have the attendants that you want. If your wedding party is lopsided, come up with creative solutions like having a groomsman escort two bridesmaids or having a groomsman escort the mothers or grandmothers down the aisle after the ceremony.
You put countless hours of time into planning out every detail of your wedding. However, years from now, your fondest wedding day memories will be centered around the people who supported you on your big day. Choosing your wedding party wisely will save you from a lot of drama and frustration.